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Misc Dementia — The Swapper

(Concocted by Jamie Mason to ‘The Seeker’)
————

I’ve looked in kernel memory,
I’ve looked in the tables.
I try to find some core
For fifty million pages.
They call me the swapper.
I’ve been searching low and high.
Unix won’t run out of memory
Till the day I die.

I asked Dennis Ritchie,
I asked Ken Thompson.
I asked comp.unix.wizards,
But they couldn’t help me either.
They call me the swapper.
I’ve been searching low and high.
Unix won’t run out of memory
Till the day I die.

People tend to hate me,
Cause I swap too slow.
As I page out their jobs
They want to shake my hand.
Focusing on swap space,
Investigating pagefaults,
I’m a pagedaemon,
I’m a very desperate hack.

Unix won’t run out of memory
Till the day I die.

I learned how to raise resident set size.
Yeah, but look at this process it’s mem’ry bound!
I’m happy when you segfault,
And when you run thrash.c I crash.
I get values but I
Don’t know how or why!

I’m looking for core,
You’re looking for CPU,
We’re running on the same box,
And we don’t know what to do!
They call me the swapper.
I’ve been searching low and high.
Unix won’t run out of memory
Till the day I die.


Jamie … The Third Sync()
Written On Saturday, October 19, 1991 at 04:31:16am EDT

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