My house burned down in a flash of thunder
My wife ran off with a one-legged plumber
My crops fell dead when the riverbed went dry.
My dog got squashed by a pickup truck
My son ran away, got hooked on drugs.
My daughter knocked up by the class of ’85.
People say that life is good
It don’t seem good to me.
I’m lost without a paddle
And I’m headed up shit creek.
People say that life is fun
But I don’t know why.
As far as I can tell
LIFE SUCKS then you die.
The government dumps its toxic waste
right on top of my mother’s grave
a team of experts say
‘Won’t do her no harm.’
My sheep went crazy, killed my mule.
I cut off my dick with a power tool
Fixin’ the hole where the meteor hit the barn.
People say that life is fair
But I can’t take no more
I got one foot on a banana peel,
The other in the Twilight Zone.
People say that life is fun
But I don’t know why.
As far as I can tell
LIFE SUCKS then you die.
I went to the store to buy some shells
The gun went off, blew the owner to hell.
Now I’m sittin’ here in jail, singin this song.
And one guy wants to cut me with a knife.
Another guy wants me to be his wife.
I hope they hang me before somethin’ really goes wrong!
People say that life is fun
But I don’t know why
As far as I can tell,
LIFE SUCKS,
LIFE SUCKS,
LIFE SUCKS, then you die.