A: We want you to know before we do it that this does not
Promote… um, promis…promiscuous sex, or anything like that, in
Any way. We… This is sarcastic — we’re putting down the meat
Market, basically.
E: It’s not our philosophy on life, or anything.
A: Yeah. Really.
E: Of course, I wrote the words, you know, but…
A: That’s right.
E (in mock drunken voice): I was SO WASTED, you know…
Audience member: What are you trying to say?
E (very straight): Nothing. We aren’t saying a thing. We’re
Just talking.
A: We’re trying to say that, uh, we’re not Madonna.
(Laughs.)
E: This is a dirty song. Hope y’all like it.
(music begins.)
E: Amy wrote the music.
————————
E (spoken): I walked into my favorite place one night; I just
Got back from a lecture, and I was feeling kind of uptight. And at
The end of the bar, there was this guy, and, you know, I wasn’t
Really looking, but I caught him out of the corner of my eye. The
Next thing I know, he was moving my way — I thought he wanted to
Talk, but this is what he had to say:
A (sung): I don’t know your name, babe
But I want to be your lover.
I don’t know your name, babe
But I want to be your lover.
One time or another, baby —
I want to be your lover.
E: I have to admit, I was a little bit surprised, but I
Wasn’t really scared, ’cause I was twice his size. So I said to
Myself, «Ok, I’ll play his game…,» and when he turned to me, I gave
Him my name.
A: I know your name, babe
But I got to know your number.
I know your name, babe
But I got to know your number.
I said, one time or another, baby —
I’m gonna be your lover.
E: Well, I said to myself, «This guy is persistent. He’s a
Little bit dumb, but at least he’s consistent.» I tried to talk
Cool, but when we touched, I went under. I made a quick decision,
And I gave him my number.
A: I know your number
But I don’t know what to say, babe.
E (effeminately): That’s ok…
A: I know your number
But I don’t know what to say, babe.
Oh, it don’t matter anyway, no —
I don’t talk when I’m making love to you
I wanna be you lover…
E: Well, you probably won’t believe this, but we got married
One day. And I still don’t know if he speaks English, ’cause he
Doesn’t have much to say. It’s a damn good thing I like lying around
— we don’t make much conversation — just love-making sounds. (Aside:
You know what I’m talking about? Y’all KNOW what I’m talking about!)
Well, one thing I’ve learned from being in this state —
E & A (sung): There are other ways to communicate!
A: I don’t know your name, babe
But I want to be your lover.
I don’t know your name, babe
But I want to be your lover.
One time or another, baby —
I want to be your lover.