Christmas celebration
All around the nation
Won't you stay with me tonight
Cos I'm running out of fight
And the pagentry is such a bore 

Carolers are singing
Registers ka-chinging
And the presents are in place
But I'd rather eat some mace
Cos that egg nog always makes me sick 

You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before
That man is so obese
That he can't get out the door 

Christmas to perfection
I'm begging for some action
And the ringing in my ears
Is the sound of christmas cheer
Cos they knocked me screaming overboard 

You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before
That man is so obese
That he can't get out the door 

You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before
That man is so obese
That he can't get out the door 

Christmas celebration
All around the nation
Won't you stay with me tonight
Cos I'm running out of fight
And the pagentry is such a bore
The pagentry is such a bore
The pagentry is such a bore
The pagentry is such a bore, yeah
The pagentry is such a bore, yeah!