From Episode 5—Dave and The Giant Pickle
Narrator: «One day while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one
of his deepest fears …»
Larry: «If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south,
that’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.»
Archibald: «I see. That’d be too bad, you’d be so sad?»
Larry: «That’d be too bad. If my lips said «adios, I don’t like you I
think you’re gross,» that’d be too bad, I might get mad.»
Archibald: «That’d be too bad, you might get mad?»
Larry: «That’d be too bad. If my lips moved to Duluth, left a mess and
took my tooth, that’d be too bad, I’d call my Dad.»
Archibald: «That’d be too bad, you’d call your Dad?»
Larry: «That’d be too bad.»
Archibald: «Hold it. Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what
you’re saying is that if your lips left you …»
Larry: «That’d be too bad, I’d be so sad, I might get mad, I’d call my
Dad. That be too bad.»
Archibald: «That’d be to bad?»
Larry: «That’d be too bad.»
Archibald: «Why?»
Larry: «Because I love my lips.» [Scatting]
Archibald: «Oh my … This is more serious than I thought. Larry, tell
me, what do you see here?»
Larry: «Um, that looks like a lip.»
Archibald: «And this?»
Larry: «It’s a lip!»
Archibald: «And this?»
Larry: «It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip lip lip! It’s a lip, it’s a
lip, it’s a lip lip lip! It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip lip lip.
Liiiiiiiiiiiips. Lip lip lip.»
Archibald: «Larry, tell me about your childhood.»
Larry: «When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the cold and
they turned blue. What could I do?»
Archibald: «They turned blue, what could you do?»
Larry: «Oh they turned blue. On the day I got my tooth I had to kiss my
Great Aunt Ruth. She had a beard … and it felt weird.»
Archibald: «My, my. She had a beard and it felt weird?»
Larry: «She had a beard. Ten days after I turned eight, got my lips
stuck in a gate. My friends all laughed. And I just stood there until
the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and I had to
spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got
stung by a bee — right on the lip — and we couldn’t even talk to each
other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen, and
when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like
three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the
word for lip: Oofta.»
Archibald: «Your friends all laughed … Usta? How do you spell that?»
Larry: «I don’t know.»
Archibald: «So what you’re saying is that when you were young …»
Larry: «They turned blue, what could I do? She had a beard and it felt
weird. My friends all laughed … Oofta!»
Archibald: «I’m confused …»
Larry: «I love my lips!» [Scatting]
Narrator: «This has been Silly Songs With Larry. Tune in next time to
hear Larry say …»
Larry: «Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?»
Archibald: «Oh, look at the time!»
