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cold cooling at a ball 
looking for some action 
but like Mick Jagger said 
I can't get no satisfaction 
the girls are all around 
but none of them wanna get with me 
my threads are fresh and I'm looking def 
yo  wassup with the l o c 
the girls are all jocking 
at the other end of the bar 
having drinks with some no name chump 
when they know that I'm the star 
so I got up and strolled over 
to the other side of the cantina 
I asked the guy, "why you so fly?" 
he said "funky cold medina" 

this brother told me a secret 
on how to get more chicks 
put a little medina in your glass 
and the girls'll come real quick 
it's better than any alcohol 
or afrodesiac 
a couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap 
so I gave some to my dog, when he began to big 
and then he licked his bowl and he looked at me 
and did the wild thing on my leg 
he used to scratch and bite me 
before he was much much meaner 
but now all the poodles run to my house for the funky cold medina 

you know what I'm saying 
I got every dog in my neighborhood breaking down my door 
I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Strolls 
they won't leave my dog alone with that medina thing 

I went up to this girl 
she said "Hi, my name Sheena" 
I thought she'd be good to go with a little funk cold medina, 
she said "I'd like a drink", I said "ok, I'll go get it" 
and then a couple of sips, she cold licked her lips and I knew that she was 
with it 
so I took her to my crib 
and everything went well as planned 
but when she got undressed it was big old mess 
Sheena was a man 
so I threw him out 
I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer weiner 
you must be sure that the girl is pure for the funky cold medina 

you know, 
ain't no plans with a man, 
this is the 80s and I'm down the ladies, 

break it down, 

back in the saddle, looking for a little affection 
I took a shot, I thought I'd test it on the Love Connection 
the audience guests voted, and you know, they picked a winner 
I took my date to the Hilton ford 
media had some dinner 
she had a few drinks, I'm thinking soon what I'd be getting, 
but that's when she starting talking 'bout plans for a wedding, 
I said "wait, slow down love, not so fast, I'll be seeing ya", 
that's why I found you don't play around with the funky cold medina 

you know what I'm saying 
that medina's a monster y'all

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