The girl has got a hole kinda like the Grand Canyon
No there ain’t a jimmy that the jenny would abandon
Doesn’t matter, short, fat, thin, wide
Jumps up, spreads her legs, down, boom, what a ride
Got a second pair of lips that flap in the breeze
She can stretch ’em from her hips on down to her knees
There’s a hole in the middle of her panty hose
And she found a new use for a garden hose
Don’t try to satisfy if you go to ram her
Unless you can compete with her new jackhammer
I see her all around and her round behind
Is always bouncin’ up and down on anything she can find
Any surface will do, no need for a bed
Enough yeast infections to bake a loaf of bread
Hell hath no fury like her doggy style
Ever since she was a child she’s been gettin’ buck-wild
«Would you, could you, on a plane?
Would you, could you, on a train?
Would you, could you, on a boat?
Would you, could you, with a goat?».
It’s possible the girl is finally going to be happy
I think she found a guy that can satisfy the nappy
Her son will be proud to learn his father was valiant
But I bet he’ll be upset when he learns he was a stallion
Makes men out of boys, dogs, bananas and tadpoles
Straddles fire hydrants and occasionally flagpoles
Turns on when you abuse yourself
If you wanna get lucky introduce yourself
At the petting zoo she finds a lot more to do
More up and down movements than a kangaroo
Under rhinos and elephants, living or dead
Gave an ostrich a new place to bury his head
Fantasizing about the force of Yoda
While sittin’ on a two-liter bottle of soda
Spreads her legs and kills people with the smell
She’s a bona fide, certified, psycho slut from hell
After years of abuse anything is gonna fit
The nappy dugout has turned into a bottomless pit
Once she’s in place a crane can’t move her
She rams like a truck and sucks like a Hoover
Goin’ at it strong since the age of nine
Now she goes through men like an assembly line
Homeboy’s done and then, thank you, come again
Back in ten minutes cause they’re gonna have fun again
Maine, California, everywhere between
Been nicknamed the All American Scream Machine
Those with back and heart trouble shouldn’t ride
Make sure your lap bars are secured and tight
She’s lookin’ to get married to a guy who can thrill her
You know, someone who can rock like Godzilla
This week’s contestants have lined up behind her
If you’re lookin’ for the girl you just might find her
On Will, on Jack, on Dave, on Kevin
On Eric, on Joseph, maybe even on Steve
On Peter, on Scott, on John, on Tony
On Todd, on Ken, and would you believe
On Mark, on Jerry, on Jim, on Mike
On Jeff, on Larry with a dog in there with ’em
On Jack, on Marvin, on Allan, on Dan
On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen