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Stephen Lynch — Down To The Old Pub Instead

Down to the Old Pub Instead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Stephen Lynch
from ^УSuреrнеrо^Ф (2002)
Got this from another site, but the words were incomplete so i filled in the
gaps…really good song! another irish classic lol! sorry the formattings a bit
screwed but thats how i found it. Credit to: Jon Cutright
not me!
INTRO:
G ^Ц D — C ^Ц D
VERSE 1:
G D
Lad it^Тs your duty to find you a lass
C D
with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass
G D C D
And make her you wife and love her with love so true
G D
Now, some rivers run high some rivers run low
C D
When her river runs red then she starting her flow
G D C D
And it^Тs called menstruation and heres what I means to you
Em C
You will notice her bloomers are spartie? At first
G D
Stand back, her ovarian dams gonna burst
Em C
So don^Тт be afraid it’s a natural thing
G D
Just wind up some cotton and give her some string
C
Put the old linens on top of the bed
C D
get out of the house and go down to the old pub
G D C D
instead.
VERSE 2:
G D
She^Тll retain her water her breasts will be tender
C D
And every third word that you say will offend her
G D C D
Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead
G D
And she^Тll want to make love if you do you’re a fool
C D
Cause you^Тll only end up with a bloody ol’ tool
G D C D
Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead
Em C
And she^Тll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
G D
But son it^Тll taste like some old rusty coins
Em C
So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat
G D
And drop to your knees say a prayer to st pat
C
Then he^Тll give you the strength to get out of the bed
C D
And for Ireland^Тs sake go down to the old pub
G D C D
instead.
VERSE 3:
Em C
Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting
G D
When the moon^Тs full and the girls are a bleatin
Em C
The catholic, the protestant even the pagan
G D
The pub is the place when lady is raggin
C
So drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks
C
That as men folk we don^Тт have to bleed from our cocks
C
And that we can escape from the lady in red
C D
And get out of the house and go down to the old pub
e]————3—
B]———-3——
G]———0——-
D]——0———
A]—-2————
E]—3————-
instead.

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