Every day in lunch in the High School
All of my senior year
I’d drink my Coca-Cola with a touch of Everclear.
I never had to study math, science or history.
I’d have a chemical flashback to jog my memory.
In my junior year, I swore i loved sweet miss Cherry Ann.
One night I put some Everclear, in her Dr. Pepper can.
I thought it’d make her easy, but she took it pretty hard.
I took her home and rang her doorbell, left her lying in the yard.
-CHORUS-
Tequila dries me out.
And beer just makes me fat.
Whiskey makes me nautious tell me who the hell needs that.
Well if you’re thinking about drinking, than the answer’s crystal clear.
It’s the invisible intoxicant, it’s called Everclear.
I remember my church picnic, in the Spring of ’89.
Yeah they had four fresh watermelons, sliced right of the vine.
When they bowed their heads, giving grace for the food.
I poured out my bottle and soaked them melons good
They never know what hit ’em, when the potion went to work.
There were grandmas doing backflips, grandpas lookin’ up their skirts.
They were singin’ ALELLUIA, and Willie Nelson songs.
Preacher said it was the best damn picnic that the Baptists had ever thrown.
-CHORUS-
When I’m drinking Everclear, I think I’m king of this whole world.
I’m bigger and badder than John Wayne and cooler than Steve Earle.
Until I wake up, and I’m face down in the hall.
Hey I’m completely naked, for a reason I can’t recall.
Well I’m kinda sorta thinking, that maybe I met a chick.
Cause there’s perfume in the air and lipstick on my neck.
Well I hope that she was pretty and I hope that she was kind
enough to leave my clothes somewhere easy to find.
-Chorus-