Ernie Bert
***** ****
[Watery sounds]
Yanky Doodle went to town
a-riding on his pony…
Ahhh, I love taking my bath, peace and
quiet, all alone.
[knock-knock-knock knock-knock]
[Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock] …and called it macaroni
Oh! two, three….
Hi buddy Bert
Oh, hi Ernie, oh hey will you close
the door, Ernie there’s a draft.
Oh just a second Bert.
Ern… Ernie what are you do…?
You can’t push the piano through the
bathroom door.
Why, sure I can, Bert, watch…
[Grunt, bump, grunt, tinkle, KA-bump] Aahhgh!
..see
Ernie?
*Klech-ksh-crsh-sh-sh*
Wh-WHAT are you doing with
a piano in the bathroom!?
Oh Bert! I heard you singing in
The tubby there Yeh?
And so I thought I
Would just come and sing along
I don’t WANT you to sing-along,
But… I want you to get out.
…but everybody sounds better
Singing in the bathroom Bert.
You know… I don’t want the piano in here Ernie.
…well Sure, Bert, what’s a
Sing-along without a piano?
[starts to play piano] It’s ME, that’s what it is… Alone!
Listen to that Bert Stop that playing.
Doesn’t that sound nice Stop it right now.
Doesn’t that make you just want
To sing-along. …makes me want to see you
out of here.
No, Bert, listen:
[sings]
Gee, Bert what?
It’s so much fun no, it’s not
I know you’ll like it …I won’t like it.
Once you’ve begun …I won’t begin!
Ernie I have to scrub my toes
I’ve got to wash my hair.
We, Bert what?
Could have a ball no way!
If I could get you *simmer*
To sing at all
[ends song but plays for Bert] NO!…
[sings]
I refuse to sing-along.
I won’t.
But, Bert…
So please don’t ask me if I want to
’cause I don’t.
Pretty Please…?
Although for you I would do
almost anything,
Really?
along is one way which I
do not want to sing.
But, listen…
[Sings]
Ol’ bud-dy…
It will make you Happy
When you start to sing a Snappy
Little number that will
Bounce you right along.
no…
Like «Farmer in the Dell» or
«Old MacDonald had a Farm» or
Maybe «What’s the Name of that Song».
No!
So if you use alot of voice
You’ll love it that you’ve got a voice
And even if the notes you sing are wrong
Ernie!
You’ll do a favor for us
If you lift your voice in chorus
For a swinging sing-along song.
E: It will make you Hap — py
B: I re — fuse
E: when you start to sing a snap — py
B: to sing — a — long.
E: lit — tle num — ber that will bounce you
B: I won’t!
E: right a — long
B: so please
E: like «Far — mer in the Dell» or
B: don’t ask me if
E: «Old Mac — Don — ald had a Farm» or
B: I want to ’cause
E: may — be «What’s-the-Name-of-that-Song»
B: I don’t
E: So
B: al — though for you
E: if you use a — lot of voice you’ll
B: I would do al —
E: love it that you’ve got a voice and
B: most an — y — thing
E: ev — en if the notes you sing are
B:
E: wrong
B: a — long
E: you’ll do a fa — vor for us
B: is one way which
E: if you lift your voice in chor — us
B: I do not want
E: for a swing-ing sing-along song
B: to sing
ErnIE!
Please, Bert what?
You’ll like it too no, I won’t!
We’ll sing Together ahhhgh
Just me and you
No! I refuse to sing-along
that’s it.
And in the bathtub? it’s ridiculous!
I Quit!
That’s that.
That’s that!
Gee, Bert, that was wonderful.
