I'm still frustrated from last night.
Things happening half time.
I'm sick of the bands.
My panic research is no help.
I sink into myself,
Afraid of the fall that never ends.
I'll wait, but I'm too tired to play pretend.
I'll suffocate until the end.
No time for half-hearted goodbyes.
I'll turn on the spotlight and flee from the scene.
Cheap flights from Paris to Bangkok,
I thought it was non-stop.
Can't sleep on the KLM again.
I haunt the halls of Madison at night,
Choking back the urge to fight.
Her cat was clawing the floorboards just outside of our door.
The panic begins.
I search the whole damn apartment,
From ceiling to carpet.
No sign of the things she used to own.
As autumn turns its back on me again,
I climb the walls for oxygen.
My body aches. it heaves; it shakes.
All summer sounds so caught up,
And I still don't know exactly who I am.
I never will.
She whispers something in my ear,
The message is unclear.
She motions outside,
I trail her closely from behind.
She tries hard not to cry.
She shakes underneath the pouring rain.
"I can't compete with all your damn ideas.
This isn't working out for you and me.
The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend.
This is goodbye; this is the end."

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