Eric Idle: And now for something completely different. A man with three
buttocks!
Host (John Cleese): I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who… (pause)
Mr. Frampton, I understand that you — um — as it were…
(pause) Well let me put it another way. Erm, I believe
that whereas most people have — er — two… Two.
Frampton (Michael Palin): Oh, sure.
Host: Ah well, er, Mr Frampton. Erm, is that chair comfortable?
Frampton: Fine, yeah, fine.
Host: Mr Frampton, er, vis a vis your… (pause) rump.
Frampton: I beg your pardon?
Host: Your rump.
Frampton: What?
Host: Er, your derriere. (Whispers) Posterior. Sit-upon.
Frampton: What’s that?
Host (whispers): Your buttocks.
Frampton: Oh, me bum!
Host (hurriedly): Sshhh! Well now, I understand that you, Mr Frampton, have
a… (pause) 50% bonus in the region of what you say.
Frampton: I got three cheeks.
Host: Yes, yes, excellent, excellent. Well we were wondering, Mr Frampton,
if you could see your way clear to giving us a quick… (pause) a
quick visual… (long pause). Mr Frampton, would you take your
trousers down.
Frampton: What? (to cameramen) ‘Ere, get that away! I’m not taking me
trousers down on television. What do you think I am?
Host: Please take them down.
Frampton: No!
Host: No, er look, er Mr Frampton. It’s quite easy for somebody just to
come along here claiming… that they have a bit to spare in the
botty department. The point is, our viewers need proof.
Frampton: I been on Persian Radio, and the Forces’ Network!