Lyrics by Edward Kleban
Music by Marvin Hamlisch
Dance Ten, Looks Three
And I’m still on unemployment
Dancing for my own enjoyment
That ain’t it, kid! That ain’t it, kid!
Dance Ten, Looks Three—Is like to die.
Left the the’ter and called the doctor
For mu appointment to buy—
Tits and Ass
Bought myself a fancy pair
Tightened up the derriere
Did the nose with it
All that does with it
Tits and Ass!
Had the bingo bongos done.
Suddenly I’m getting Nash’nal tours!
Tits and ass won’t get you jobs
Unless they’re yours.
Didn’t cost a fortune neither.
Didn’t hurt my sex life either.
Flat and sassy.
I would get the strays and losers.
Beggars really can’t be choosers.
That ain’t it, kid! That ain’t it, kid!
Fix the chassis.
«How do you do!»
Life turned into an endless medley of
«Gee, it had to be you.» Why?
Tits and ass.
Where the cupboard once was bare.
Now you knock and someone’s there.
Have you got ’em, hey!
Top to bottom, hey!
It’s a gas!
Just a dash of silicone.
Shake your new maracas and your fine!
Tits and ass can change your life.
They sure changed mine.
Have it all done!
Honey, take my word.
Grab a cab, c’mon
See the wizard on
Park and Seventy-Third for
Tits and ass
Orchestra and balcony.
What they want is what they see.
Keep the best of you.
Do the rest of you.
Pits or class.—I have never seen it fail
Debutante or chorus girl or wife—
Tits and ass, Yes, tits and ass
Have changed my life!