Come listen a while and I’ll tell you a story
Of three merry gentlemen riding along.
They spied a fair maid and one to her did say,
«We’re afraid this cold morning will do you some harm.»
«Oh, no, kind sir,» said the maid, «You’re mistaken
To think this cold morning may do me some harm.
There’s one thing I crave, and it lies ‘twixt your legs, sir.
If you give me that, it will keep me warm.»
«Well, since you do crave it, my dear, you shall have it
If you will come with me to yonder green tree.
And since you do crave it, my dear, you shall have it;
I’ll make these two gentlemen witness to thee.»
So the gentleman lighted, and straightway she mounted,
And looking the gentleman hard in the face,
Said, «You knew not my meaning—you wrong understood me,»
And away she went galloping down the long lane.
«Oh, gentlemen, lend me one of your horses
That I may ride after her down the long lane.
If I overtake her, I warrant I’ll make her
Return unto me my own horse again.»
But soon as this fair maid she saw them a-coming,
She instantly then took her pistol in hand,
Saying, «Doubt not my skill, for it’s you I will kill,
And I’d have you stand back, or you are a dead man.»
«Oh, why do you spend all your time here in talking?
Oh, why do you spend all your time here in vain?
Come, give her a guinea—it’s what she deserves—
And I warrant she’ll give you your horse back again.»
«Oh, no,» said the maid, «You are vastly mistaken,
For if it’s his loss, well, then, it is my gain.
And you are a witness that he gave it to me!»
And away she went galloping over the plain.