As I was walking down the street one dark and dusky day
I came across a billboard with pieces blown away
It was all torn and tattered from a storm the night before
And reading all the pieces left, this is what I saw:
Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes, chew Wrigley’s Spearmint beer
Ken-L-Ration dog food will make your complexion clear
The doctors say that babies should smoke until they’re three
And people over 65 should bathe in Lipton’s Tea
Enjoy your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire
Learn to play the piano in your thermal underwear
If you want to make this country a better place today
Then buy a record of this song and break it right away.