Oop in belfry, verger stands,
Pullin’ pud with grimy ‘ands
Oop in pulpit parson yells,
«stop pullin’ pud, pull fookin’ bells»
Ring the bell verger, ring, ring, ring
Perhaps the congregation will condescend to sing
Perhaps the village organist sitting on his stool
will play upon his organ and not upon his tool!
Down in the belfry chauffeur lies,
Vicars wife between his thighs
Voice from the pulpit sounds afar,
«Stop pushin’ wife, start pushin’ car!»
Oop in control tower operator sits,
Girl on knee, playing with tits
In cooms foreman, face in smiles
«Stop twiddlin’ tits, start twiddlin’ dials»
Han’some bootler, booxoom cook
Down in pantry havin’ fook
Opp in parlour mistress squeals
«Stop fookin’ cook, cook fookin’ meals!»
Little Frances home from school
Picked oop baby by the tool
Mother squealed «You naughty Frances
To ruin baby’s fookin’ chances!»
Ocean liner six days late
Stoker strokin’ stoker’s mate
Voice from captain over t’wire
«Stop pokin’ mate, start pokin’ fire!»