My grandmother, she, at the age of ninety-three,
One day in May, she took up and died.
And after she were dead, the will of course was read
By the lawyer as we all sat by his side.
To me brother it were found, she left a hundred pound,
The same unto me sister, I declare.
But when it came to me, the lawyer said, «I see,
Granny’s only left to you her old armchair.»
CHORUS:
How they tittered, how they laughed,
How me brothers and me sisters chaffed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
Granny’s only left to you her old armchair.
Well, I hardly thought it fair, but I said I didn’t care,
And in the evening came and took the chair away.
While the neighbors chaffed, me brother laughed,
He said, «it’s sure to come in handy, John, some day.
When you’ve settled down in life, found a girl to be your wife,
It’ll come in very handy I declare,
With your fire burning bright, you’ll be sitting home at night,
Just a’sitting in your old armchair.»
Well, in a year or two, what me brother said came true
And I found it time to settle down in life.
To a lady I paid court and then the ring I bought,
And I led her to the church to be my wife.
My wife and me were happy as can be
And in the evening when the work were done,
I never abroad would roam, but preferred to stay at home
Just sitting in me old armchair.
One day the chair fell down, I picked it up and found
The seat had fallen out upon the floor.
And there to my surprise, right before me eyes,
Lay lots of notes, a thousand pounds or more.
When me brother heard of this, the fellow I confess
Went nearly wild with rage and tore his hair.
I only said to him, «Ain’t you sorry, Jim,
Granny didn’t leave to you her old armchair?»