Copyright 1977 Leslie Fish; copyright assigned to Random Factors
Listen and Ill tell you a tale I’ve been told
Of a union organizer who knocked a starship cold
They met where the stars are squattered thin out along the galactic rim
And starfleet command is sorry that they ever ran into him
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
Now the ship was patrolling rim stars when she got a call for aid
And up come a local convoy in a hurried grim parade
Saying Captain we’ve caught a monster whose far much for us by far
So take him and throw him into the heart of the nearest star
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
Just why do you need a whole convoy the Captain wished to know
Three ships to guard the other less decrepit as we go
Now the Captain was intrigued and he said stand by for scan
But all that showed on the viewing screen was little ol’union man
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
The Captain said I can take him and he beamed the man aboard
The convoy turned and raced away crying Thank the Lord
Then the Captain looked him over asking just what’s going on
That they sent out half their trading fleet just to make sure you were gone.
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
The little old man just chuckled saying Captain don’t you know
My job is organizing wherever I may go
And I can build a union out of anything you got
And the folks that run that planet well they disliked that a lot
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
I first organized the laborers Then i unionized the clerks
Then i unionized the robots that staffed the atomic works
But when I organized the milk cows and led them out on strike
Well you can guess what official reaction to that was like
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
Amazing said the Captain but you cant do that in here
My crew are loyal navy men and we’ve no cause for fear
But he heard the old man saying as he walked out the door
Captain, yano, there have so been navy unions before
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
Well the Captain soon forgot him setting course for starbase five
For all he saw the union man he might not ever of been alive
Till a troubled ensign asked him ‘is it true sir what they say?
That we’ve got high hazard duty without high hazard pay?’
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
Well the Captain couldn’t answer except to say its true
Starfleet could pay you better but theres not much I can do
But when he woke up next morning he found out what moral was like
For the bridge was filled with pickets and the whole crew was on strike
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
Then the union man walked up and said I’m sorry to trouble you
But your ship is now a job shop of the I-W-W-U
We’ve sent our demands to Starfleet command and they said they’d grant us none
So we’re just gonna keep on sailing till this strike is won
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
Now further we’ve decided to run this co-op style
Giving everyone experience at each others job awhile
We like you too much to dump you at the first starbase we see
But we bolted you to the galley and this weeks command to me
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man
So somewhere down in the galley you’ll find poor Captain Kirk
Scrubbing away on dishes swearing it’ll never work
And Spock as he dries those dishes says ‘It might succeed I fear’
And please Sir while you’re washing don’t splash water in my ear
Pull up your guns
Run while you can
Look out here comes the union man