Well, I went for a drive
In my pickup truck
I picked up my girl,
‘Cause I wanted to
Show her my gloves
‘Cause she had on her mitts
And I blushed brightly
when she showed me her
Perfume that she buys
Whenever Avon calls
So I took off my pants
And I showed her my
Polka-dot undies!
My polka-dot undies!
Yeah, my polka-dot undies
From Miracle Ma*** [??? couldn’t make it out]
I said, «Look, be careful
I think I’m gonna
Turn a sharp corner
And go up on the grass»
She leaned out the window
And I thought I saw her
Pointing to something
That flashed by real quick
She said, «Hey, look at that!
It looks just like your
Polka-dot undies!
Polka-dot undies…
Yeah, my polka-dot undies
That I wear back-to-front
She smiled and she said,
«Have you seen my
Brother’s new car
The one that he stole
Then she asked me
To look up her
Whole damn family
And I went into shock
When I found out it was her sister
Who really liked
Polka-dot undies!
Polka-dot undies!
(yeah!)
[instrumental]
Well, I took her out to dinner
But on one thing she was firm
She’d swallow almost anything
Except for
Stories that her brother
Didn’t like birds [this is unclear too]
But hung around leather bars
And liked to eat
Fish and chips
And he still sucked his thumb —
I said, «I don’t mind!»
And she kissed me on my
Polka-dot undies!
My polka-dot undies!
I kissed her softly
And I said, «I’ll tell you what
Let’s roll up the windows
and I’ll eat your
Last bar of chocolate
The one that’s in the parcel» [?]
And she said, «No, no, no»,
And she called me a
Taxi. But I said,
«I beg your pardon!
But get me home real fast
Or I’ll lose my
Polka-dot undies!»
Polka-dot undies! ..
The moral of this story,
like a jewel it is gleaming
But you’ll never find it in a
Glass of warm
Milk or tea
‘Cause it will not fit
And you probably already think
I am full of
Vague innuendoes,
And double-meaning rhymes —
But I’ll tell you that obscenity
Is all in your
Polka-dot undies!
Your polka-dot undies!
Yeah, your edible undies!
Your polka-dot undies!