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When I think of you Baton Rouge
        I think of a Mariachi band
        I think of sixteen and a crisp green football field
        I think of a girl I never had

        When I think of you Baton Rouge
        I think of a back seat in a car
        Windows are foggy and so are we
        as the police asked for our I.D.

        So helpless
        so helpless

        Ooohhh, ooohhh, so helpless
        ooohhh, so helpless
        Ooohhh, so helpless
        so helpless

        Well I once had a car lost it in a divorce
        the judge was a woman of course
        She said give her the car and the house and your taste
        or else I set the trial date

        So now when I think of you Baton Rouge
        and the deep southern belles with their touch
        I wonder where love ends and hate starts to blush
        in the fields in the swamps in the rush

        In the terra-cotta cobwebs of your mind
        when did you start seeing me as a spider spinning web
        Of malicious intent and you as poor, poor me
        at the fire at the joint, this disinterred and broken mount
        in the bedroom in the house where we were unmarried

        So helpless, so helpless
        so helpless
        So helpless, so helpless
        so helpless

        When was I the villain in your heart
        putting the brake on your start
        you slapped my face and cried and screamed
        that's what marriage came to mean
        The bitterest ending of a dream

        You wanted children and I did not
        was that what it was all about
        You might get a laugh when you hear me shout
        you might get a laugh when you hear me shout
        I wish I had


        So helpless, so helpless
        so helpless
        So helpless, so helpless
        so helpless

        Sometimes when I think of Baton Rouge
        I see us with two and a half strapping sons
        One and a half flushed daughters preparing to marry
        and two fat grandsons I can barely carry

        Daddy, uncle, family gathered there for grace
        a dog in a barbecue pit goes up in space
        The dream recedes in the morning with a bad aftertaste
        and I'm back in the big city worn from the race of the chase
        what a waste

        So thanks for the card the announcement of child
        and I must say you and Sam look great
        Your daughter's gleaming in that -
        - white wedding dress with pride
        sad to say I could never bring that to you that wide smile

        So I try not to think of Baton Rouge
        or of a, of a, of a Mariachi band
        Or of sixteen and a crisp green football field
        and the girl, and the girl I never had

        So helpless, so helpless
        so helpless
        So helpless, so helpless
        so helpless

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