They say to have her hair done, Liz flies all the way to France
And Jackieґs seen in a Discoteque doinґ a brand new dance
And the White House social season should be glitterinґ in gay
But here in Topeka the rain is a fallinґ
The faucet is a drippinґ and the kids are a ballinґ
One of ґem a toddlinґ and one is a crawlinґ
And oneґs on the way
Iґm glad Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact
And Debbieґs out in Vegas workinґ up a brand new act
While the t.v.ґs showinґ newly weds, a real fun game to play
But here in Topeka, the screen doorґs a banginґ
The coffeeґs boilinґ over and the wash needs a hanginґ
One wants a cookie and one wants a changinґ
And oneґs on the way
Now what was I doinґ? Jimmy get away from there
Darn, there goes the phone
Hello honey, whatґs that you say?
Youґre bringinґ a few old buddies home?
Youґre callinґ from a barn?
Get away from there! No, not you honey
I was talkinґ to the baby
Wait a minute, honey, the door bell
Honey, could you stop at the market and…hello?, hello?
Well, Iґll be…
The girls in New York City, they all march for womenґs lib
And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live
And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today
Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzinґ
The dog is a barkinґ and the floor needs a scrubbinґ
One needs a spankinґ and one needs a hugginґ
Lord, oneґs on the way
Oh gee, I hope it ainґt twins, again!