Lard!
Lard!
Lard! You can see it, in the clouds up in the sky.
Lard! Floats by in clusters in our water supply.
Lard! It's in all of us, man. Our pores, and in our hair.
Lard! What we conceal in those corny clothes we wear.
Lard is all.
Lard is divine.
Lard is in control.
Lard whips and chains our soul.
We carry credit cards.
We live in fear of art.
Lard is the Om.
Lard is revolution.
Lard is the tapeworm,
in the bottle of cheap tequila.
That comes alive at night,
And sneaks up and bite our nipples.
Lard.
Lard!

Nowadays, most of us need someone to run our personal life.
Someone to see that the plant are watered.
Someone to make sure the place is clean.
Someone to make sure dinner is waiting.
Someone to call for theater tickets.
Some one to make up those cheap excuses.
What we need is Lard!
Lard!
The answer.
The dancer.
The ointment.
The dream.
Absorb it.
Inflame it.
Respect it.
Molest it.
Lard!
Lard!
The country, right now, it wants to be soothed.
And told it doesn't have to pay, or sacrifice, or learn.
No one is over the hill, when the mountain comes to Mohammed.
Lard! Lard! Lard!
We love to eat.
We love to pray.
Mold over mind. Hooray!
The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!

Every time I take a crap, it's a cosmic experience.
Religion, and chemicals are the keys to the future.
Next time that we have sex, just pretend that I'm Ed Meese.
The weasels have it down, man. It's a whole new age.
Lard!
Which would you prefer? A computer, or a gun?
The sharks outlived the dinosaurs, you know.

(Feel)The Power of Lard!
(Feel)The Power of Lard!
(Feel)The Power of Lard!
(Feel)The Power of Lard!
Pity the poor trainer in the stable when the racehorse farts.
Poison Oak really is the aphrodisiac of the gods.
When people are asleep, we must all become alarm clocks.
Hey, man. Life is my college.
EeeeeYOOOowwwwww!!
(instrumental break)

It's dental floss of the mind.
Who will baby sit the baby sitters?

Ever hear about the guy in New York, who's dick fell of in the bath after he shot it full of coke?
It's okay to run out of butter in Zambia. Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast.
Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup.
Which came first? Max Headroom, or Gerald Ford?
Are you a man or are you a mouse?
If you love your fun, DIE FOR IT!
Die for Lard!

The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!
(continues in background)
Who's gonna baby sit the baby sitters?(4x)
The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!
Avoid Everything(4x)
..Everything(8x)

The Power of Lard!
The Power of Lard!
(continues in background)
LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD!
LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD!
LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD!
LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD!
LARD!




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