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By: Matt Betton 
1986 
I never wanted to be 
A man of mystery 
My life's an open book 
By James Joyce and Agatha Christie 

Sometimes I get confused 
Somewhere around page two 
I live the perfect crime 
And crime pays more than it used to 

They're checkin' the evidence 
May be some charges pressed 
The only one they got me on 
Is some misdemeanor craziness 

Chorus: 
If it all falls down falls down falls down 
If they solve my life they find me out 
Never thought to keep all I have found 
I have had my fun if it all falls down 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 
I have had my fun I have bought a few rounds 
And been out on the town way out on the town 
Way way way out if it all falls down 

Never wanted to be 
A part of history 
I have my days in the sun 
A beach bum a man for all seasides 

Guidance counselor said 
Your scores are anti-heroic 
Computer recommends 
Hard-drinking calypso poet 

Studied life at sea 
Studied life in bars 
Never passed my S.A.T.'s 
So I thought I'd study extra hard 

Chorus: 
If it all falls down falls down falls down 
I have learned my trade from the inside out 
I can strum real hard I can play real loud 
I can charm a crowd if it all falls down 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 
I can warm a crowd I can make them shout 
I can juggle verbs adverbs and nouns 
I can make them dance 'til they all fall down 

We had plenty of doctors 
We had plenty of lawyers 
We had people to make us things 
We had people to sell us those things 
Didn't have enough room for those things 
We build lots of self storage 
Calypso poet shortage 
Calypso poet shortage 

Chorus: 
If it all falls down falls down falls down 
I'll have filled that void from city to town 
I'll have spent my money and taken my bows 
I'll have had my fun if it all falls down 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 
If they solve my life if they find me out 
Never thought to keep all I have found 
I have had my fun if it all falls down 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 
I can charm a crowd 'til they snake dance 'round 
With calypso beat down island sound 
I can make them dance 'til they all fall down 

Chorus: 
If it all falls down falls down falls down 
I can warm a crowd I can make them shout 
I can juggle verbs adverbs and nouns 
I can make them dance 'til they all fall down

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