Well, the doctor came callin’, he said, «Tom, lemme in.
You’re long overdue for an examinin’.
You’re pale and you’re sickly and ugly as sin.»
I pulled up a chair and I poured him a gin
CHORUS:
Liquor’s my lover and I want it that way
I don’t need no other, there’s no woman for me
Yeah, liquor’s my lover, all my women have depart(ed)
And it may harm my liver but it won’t break my heart
«Well, I’m warnin’ ya, Tom,» that old doctor said,
«You better stop drinkin’, you need a clear head.
Half o’ ya’s dyin’, the other half’s dead.
You better find a good woman ’cause you’re drinkin’ to death.»
THE ELECTRIC GUITAR STEPS FORWARD.
So I went to a preacher and I told him I’d sinned
’cause the day that she left me, well, I hit the gin
He said the old bottle would soon do me in
But I’m gettin’ used to the shape that I’m in
Well, I should have listened to their good advice
’cause I kept on drinkin’ and I died that night
St. Peter stepped forward when I rang his bell
He said, «Slo’ Tom, there’s no liquor in heaven,»
So I went straight to