From the halls of Montezuma
To the shores of Tripoli
I have fought my country’s battles
I have faced every enemy
I ain’t scared of no Iraqi missiles
I ain’t scared of no Russian tanks
If I’m captured and tortured all they’ll get
Is my serial number name and rank
You know I’d storm Baghdad to kick Saddam’s butt
Swim to Havana bring home Castro’s beard
For my buddies throw my body on a live grenade
I guess I just don’t know the meaning of fear
But please
Please
Please please please please please
Don’t make me shower with a fairy
Not a fairy—fairies scare me
Cause a fairy might look at my weewee
My weewee—it’s so teeny