Artist: Frank Zappa
Title: Cops and Buns
——————————-
Patrolman Lefemine:
Now, we don’t come up here because we feel like walkin’ four flights at three
o’clock in the morning.
Frank Zappa:
Yeah.
Patrolman Lefemine:
We were up here last night. (bark, bark) Now for us-
Frank Zappa:
Last night?
Patrolman Lefemine:
Yes.
Frank Zappa:
I wasnt here last night.
Patrolman Lefemine:
Now for us to continually come up to this here place every night and not show
no action other than to say, yes theres a , we look kinda bad. I mean. lets
be honest. Now if you had to give me any kinda reccomendation, or mark
my word, a mistake, every night, 3-4, 2-4, betwen those hours you guys are
at 53 E 10 st, what are you doin there every night? You mean you-you permit
this kinda condition to continue on without once giving a summons?
Unknown:
Alright, your lawyer says to knock it off!
Patrolman Lefemine:
Uh, were puttin ourselves over backwards with these people. Do you know
what were doin? Do you know what were doin?
Frank Zappa:
No, tell me. No, please tell me.
Patrolman Lefemine:
Well this is, if were up here once were up here twenty times. I know that little
guy, like the guy at the…like a long-lost brother. Now if we ever get called
down, if this ever goes to a big explosion, and they say, Officer, what did
you do, did you ever issue summonses?, they get … this is all in the rekkid
book, how many times we been up here. This is all rekkids…
Frank Zappa:
m-hmm
Patrolman Lefemine:
Now if these people wanna subpeona these rekkids, they could subpeona these
rekkids. An they could find out how many times we been.. this is us on- Wait!
This is us alone! An they say, Officer, what did you do? Warn em? You mean
to tell me you were up here about twenty times an you never issued a
summons?
Unknown:
There have been summonses.
Patrolman Lefemine:
Well, WE never issued em! How many summonses have you gotten for noise?
Unknown:
What, me personally, or the studio?
Patrolman Lefemine:
The studio, studio. Unknown:
I don’t know how many, but theres a court case pending right now..
Unknown:
We’ve gotten one.
Patrolman Lefemine:
One! One! And how many times have I, eh, uh, hey listen! As I say, if I been
up here once Ive been up here twenty times already.
Frank Zappa:
Hey look, stop it, pack that stuff up, stop making noise you guys!
Unknown:
Yeah, well, I understand
Patrolman Lefemine:
Well, whose in charge here at the studio?
Unknown:
here he is
In charge?
Patrolman Lefemine:
IN charge
He’s more or less in charge
Patrolman Lefemine:
Are you in charge? I don’t run the studio.. I jus..
Patrolman Lefemine:
Alright, listen, lemme tell you one thing
I’m in- I’m in charge
Patrolman Lefemine:
Youre in charge at this point
alright
Patrolman Lefemine:
My name is Patrolman Lefemine
Frank Zappa:
Here, have a BUN.
Patrolman Lefemine:
Now, as of tonight, right
Frank Zappa:
You wanna BUN?
Patrolman Lefemine:
If I come back here, and every night that I do come back here, I don’t care
who says he’s in charge, I will issue a summons
Frank Zappa:
I’m issuing you a bun
Patrolman Lefemine:
An anybody thinks its a great joke, you can all laugh in the car… We havent
put out one hit record yet? My goodness. It takes a long time. You know
what I mean.
Patrolman Lefemine:
This is ridiculous!
Frank Zappa:
Are you sure you don’t want one o those breakfast rolls on your way down
the stairs?
You better believe that I don’t want nuthin
Who gets-who gets the summons, is the the organization?
Patrolman Lefemine:
Whoever it is in charge at the time. He could say Joe Blow, I don’t care what
kind of a name he gives. Then if the courts decide if they wanna know who
he’s takin orders from, theyll summons that person to court. Thats all there
is to it.
Alright. Take care.
Right.
Okay.
Frank Zappa:
Nighty-night!
(Cough!)
