A musical in three acts by XTC
Cast of characters
GRAHAM, a teenager
MOTHER, a busy housewife
FATHER, a conservative husband
POLICEMAN, a young constable
SCENE: A kitchen in suburbia, one bright Saturday morning
ACT ONE
Narrator: The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the
Line. Her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying
Their cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. Their
Wall-paper world is shattered by his shout. A boy in blue is busy
Banging out a headache on the kitchen door. All the while Graham
Slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted
To.
Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear?
We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he’d be a good
Boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we
Made little Graham promise us he’d be a good boy.
ACT TWO
Narrator: The young policeman who just can’t grow a moustache will
Open up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of Asians who
Have been so badly kicked.
Policeman: Is this your son’s wallet I’ve got here? He must have
