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Verse One: Humpty Hump (Shock G) 
All right! 
Stop whatcha doin' 
'cause I'm about to ruin 
the image and the style that ya used to. 
I look funny  
but yo I'm makin' money  see 
so yo world I hope you're ready for me. 
Now gather round 
I'm the new fool in town 
and my sound's laid down by the Underground. 
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf 
so just let me introduce myself 
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty. 
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee. 
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee. 
I'm steppin' tall, y'all, 
and just like Humpty Dumpty 
you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me. 
I like to rhyme, 
I like my beats funky, 
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy. 
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack 
but sometimes I get ridiculous 
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice 
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish? 
Yeah, I called ya fat. 
Look at me, I'm skinny 
It never stopped me from gettin' busy 
I'm a freak 
I like the girls with the boom 
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom 
I'm crazy. 
Allow me to amaze thee. 
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me. 
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants 
and I even got my own dance 
{Chorus:} 
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump 
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump 
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump 
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump 
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
Verse Two: 
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'" 
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin' 
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me 
but ya can't get near me 
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B, 
all the girls they adore me 
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere 
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear. 
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed 
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid 
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge, 
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large 
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid, 
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid 
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it, 
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits 
Also told ya that I like to bite 
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write. 
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance 
and now I'm gonna do my dance. 
{Chorus} 
Breakdown: 
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all 
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here 
Oh, yeah! 
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself 
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance 
It's real easy to do--check it out 
Verse Three: 
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken 
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin' 
Crazy wack funky 
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty 
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion 
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion 
Anyone can play this game 
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name 
No two people will do it the same 
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain 
Humpin', funkin', jumpin', 
jig around, shakin' ya rump, 
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump 
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump. 
{Chorus} 
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump 
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
Let's get stoopid! 
{Chorus} 
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down 
Outro: 
Once again, the Underground is in the house 
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world, 
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance, 
and to the ladies, 
peace and humptiness forever 
{Music and fade}

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