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De La Soul — Intro (da la Soal is Dead)

Hello boys and girls. Welcome to your De La Soul readalong storybook!
When you hear this sound… * …that means turn the page.
And now we begin our exciting adventure of… De La Soul is Dead.

*

PLAYGROUND HONEYS:
— Oh my God, Vanilla Ice…
— He’s so fly!
— The boy is so good.
— Did you see his body?
— He could dance too.
— He could.
— He’s better than any rapper I ever seen!
— And plus his dancers!
— He’s so jammin’!

*

JEFF: Yo, what’s up?
HONEYS: Yo, Jeff, where you been, man?
JEFF: Guess what I just found, I just found a De La Soul tape in the garbage.
HONEYS: For real? Let’s hear it!
JEFF: No!
HONEYS: Aww, be like that!

*

MISTA LAWNGE: What’s up, cocksnot? How ya doing, buddy?
HONEYS: Cocksnot? You gonna let him call you that? Sucker!
JEFF: Leave me alone!
LAWNGE: What do we have here?
JEFF: Nothing!
LAWNGE: Listen, you little Arsenio Hall gum having punk!
HONEYS: Oooh! You let him call you Arsenio! Oooh!
LAWNGE: I want the tape!
JEFF: It’s mine!
HONEYS: Oh, he played you! Jeff’s getting played! Jeff! Jeff! Bodyslam him, Jeff!

*

LAWNGE: Now! I’ve got the new De La Soul tape! Hey dicksnot, buttcrust, get over here!
D.J. AUB: What’s up baby?
MASE: Coolin’!
LAWNGE: I just got this De La Soul tape, man, slamming. Where’s the box? The box!
MASE: So, yo, let’s get with the shilsnihilsnobilsno!
AUB: I got the bidox, let’s do this like Brutus!

*

…28. For those who have all four answers correct, you will recieve
a specially selected Grand Prize. Thanks, and goodnight, for Three Feet

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