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"*!*!*ACCORDING TO PLAN 1*!*!* 
It's a beautiful day 
It's a rather nice day 
A day for a glorious wedding 
A rehearsal my dear, to be perfectly clear 
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding 
Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know 
That nothing unexpected interferes with the show 

And that's why every thing 
Every last little thing 
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go 

According to plan 
Our son will be married 
According to plan 
Our family carried 
… heights of society 

To the costume balls 
In the hallowed halls 
Rubbing elbows with the finest 
And having crumpets with her highness 
We’ll be there, we’ll be seen 
Having tea with the queen 
Forget everything 
That we’ve ever, ever been 

*!*!*ACCORDING TO PLAN 2*!*!* 
It's a terrible day 
I don't mean that well 
It's a terrible day for a wedding 
It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in 
That has led to this ominous wedding 
How could our family have come to this? 
To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riche 
Their so common 
So coarse 
Oh it couldn’t be worse 
Couldn’t be worse? I’m afraid I disagree 
They could be land rich, bankrupt, aristocracy 
Without a penny to their name 
Just like you, and me 
Oh dear 

And that’s why everything 
Every last little thing 
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go 

According to plan 
Our daughter will wed 
According to plan 
Our family led 
From the depths of deepest poverty 
To the noble realm 
Of our ancestors 
And who’d have guessed in a million years? 
That our daughter with a face 
Of an otter in disgrace 
Would provide our tickets to a rightful place 

*!*!*ACCORDING TO PLAN 3*!*!* 
Marriage is a partnership 
A little tit for tat 
You’d think a lifetime watching us 
Might have taught her that 
Might have taught her that 

Everything must be perfect 
Everything must be perfect 
Everything must be perfect perfect 
That’s why everything 
Every last little thing 
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go 

According to plan 
"

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