I saw Mrs. Parker at the store today,
she was buyin’ some food
I walked up to her and I said «Hey!»
«When’s the baby due?»
She said «Baby?»
«I’m not having a baby,»
«what you talkin’ about?»
I said «Sorry… Mrs. Parker»
I put my foot in my mouth
(chorus)
I got my foot in my mouth,
guess I should watch what I say,
I got my foot in my mouth,
it’s prob’ly better that way
I took my brother to the mall last Christmas,
to see Santa and his sleigh,
I said «Aren’t you glad that you’re old enough,»
«to know that Santa is fake?»
He said «Fake? Santa’s not fake!»
«What you talkin about?»
I said «No, I didn’t tell ya Santa was fake!»
«I said…Santa’s great…»
I put my foot in my mouth
(chorus)
«here’s the last verse»
I was braggin’ to a friend of mine
how I ran over this cat,
I said «His name was fluffy, cause I read the tag…»
«right after I squashed him flat»
She said «Fluffy? My cat’s name is Fluffy! He was my best friend.»
I said «No, I didn’t say his name was Fluffy!»
«I said his name was… Twinkles»
here I go again…
(chorus x2)