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featuring Gerald Levert 

[Chris Rock] 
Ladies and gentlemen.. of the G.E.D. class of 1999 
I have one piece of advice for you 
No matter what a stripper tells you 
There's no sex in the Champagne Room.. NONE! 
Oh there's CHAMPAGNE in the Champagne Room 
But you don't want champagne.. you want sex 
And there's NO sex.. in the Champagne Room 

Don't go to parties with metal detectors 
Sure it feels safe inside; but what about 
all those niggaz waitin outside with guns? 
They know you ain't got one.. 
If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16.. she's 12 
If she tells you she's 26, and LOOKS 26.. she's damn near 40 
Take off that silly-ass hat 
The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes 
Coolio did some of that shit 
Young black men -- if you go to a movie theater 
and someone steps on your foot, let it SLIIIDE 
Why spend the next twenty years in jail 
cause someone smudged your Puma? 
Cornbread -- ain't nuttin wrong with that 
No matter what you think of what I'm sayin 
Remember this one thing: there is no sex, in the Champagne Room 

[Gerald Levert] 
Ooooohh... 
No sex in the Champagne Room (6X) 
Absolutely, positively, no sex in the Champagnnnne, Room 
No.. no-ohhhhh... 

[Chris Rock] 
If a homeless person.. has a funny sign.. 
he hasn't been homeless that long 
A +REAL+ homeless person, is too hungry, to be funny 
If a girl has a pierced tongue - she'll probably suck your dick 
[Levert: That'd be great..] 
If a guy has a pierced tongue - he'll probably suck your dick 
[Levert: I don't want that, no..] 
Here's a horoscope for everyone: 
Aquarius: You're gonna die 
Capricorn: You're gonna die 
Gemini: You're gonna die TWICE 
Leo: You're gonna die 
Scorpio: You're gonna die fuckin 
[Levert: Ohh yeah..] 
No one goes to Hooters for wings 
[Levert: No no no..] 
If you've been dating a man for four months 
and you haven't met any of his friends, you are NOT his girlfriend! 
Some of the things I've said may not apply to you 
Some of the things I've said may offend you 
But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing 
No matter what a stripper says 
There's no sex in the Champagne Room 
NONE 

[Gerald Levert] 
No sex in the Champagne Room 
Said no sex in the Champagne Room 
No sex in the Champagne Room 
No no sex in the Champagne Room 
No sex in the Champagne Room 
Can't get none, uhh 
Can't have none, nah 
in the Champagne Room 
Said there's absolutely, positively 
no sex in the Champagne Room 
Said no.. no.. 
Said no-ohhhh.. 
Said Chris said.. 
There ain't no sex 
in the Champagne Room.. no.. no.. no.. 
Can't get none, ahh 
Can't have none.. *fades*

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