If Linda Blair was my Lolita, her head would spin.
She would levitate, vomit green,
Beat a priest — what a teen!
Dick Clark would grin.
And foul things’d spurt without discretion
From her tiny mouth.
She’d say: Spank me, spank me, spank me DADDY!
Mommy’s in bandages ‘n’ smoking too,
She doesn’t like it when I tell her to.
I don’t know what’s come over me.
I’m not myself today,
Linda’s all the rage —
the Devil’s underage.
Get that cross right out of there girl,
You don’t know where it’s been.
You’re 13, underage, into bondage.
It’s just a phase.
You’re too young to sin,
Speak in tongues backwards in Latin.
Let me hear you say:
Spank me, spank me, spank me DADDY!
Comin’ downstairs just to piss on the rug,
She’s gonna get all my gnarly love.
I don’t know what’s come over me.
I’m not myself today,
Linda’s all the rage —
the Devil’s underage.
The power of Christ compels you.