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(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away 
you don't owe him anything) 
do you go to the dungeon 
to find out how to make peace with your days in the dungeon 
writing a letter to you 
didn't make me feel any more peaceful than how I felt when we weren't 
speaking 
because I didn't cop to what I did. 
I can't love you becaused we're supposed to have professional 
boundaries. 
I'd like you to be schooled and in awe as though you were kissed by 
god full on the lips. 
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn 
I get to see you see you close up 
[Background] 
(I'm too tired to recount the unpleasantries one by one 
one minute I want to banish you 
the next I want to be on a deserted island with you with my three 
favorite cd's 
ambivalent in your bed we've yet to acknowledge what really happened) 
Slid into the ditch I have this overwhelming loss of amibition 
we said let's name thirty good reasons why we shouldn't be together 
I started by saying things like "you smoke" "you live in new jersey 
(too far)" 
you started saying things like "you belong to the world" 
all of which could have been easily refuted 
but the conversation was hypothetical 
I am totally short of breath for you 
why can't you shut your stuff off... 
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn 
I get to see you see you close up 
[Background] 
and I laughed until my lungs hurt 
I love how you bust my chops 
You don't always feel seen 
Sometimes you feel erasable unfortunately I cannot reciprocate in my 
current state 
I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together 
.....for a while while i'm speaking 
you know how much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend some time 
alone 
fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't always about you 
I've been wanting your undivided attention I like the fact that you're 
nothing like me 
Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your 
charmed life (seemingly)? 
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn 
I get to see you see you close up 
[Background] 
you never meant to be ungrateful 
nor held up to be whipped or wept 
for certainly not analysed 
prodded at more ways than one apparently you've been misrepresented 
dealing with the concept of arrows being slung towards your outrageous 
fortune 
Hey I'm not mad at you guardian 
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your jeckyl 
and hydeness 
i'm glad i firguratively slapped you on the wrist 
you laughed a wicked laugh and said "come here let me clip your 
wings!" 
(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away you don't own him 
anything) 
"raise the roof he yelled "yeah raise the roof!" I yelled back. 
(Unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize.) 
No thanks to the soap box 
Having my rile against them won't make an ounce of difference... 
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn 
I get to see you see you close up 
[Background] 
Oh the things I've done for you 
many a sitch a friend a man's been left for you 
oh the books i've read for you 
the tongues i've bitten for you many a new city for you 
for you many a risk taken for you (not a single regret)

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